Loving without condition, giving without measure, living for each moment

New Year’s Eve

There would have been times in my life that I was either horrified or terrified (or maybe both) to spend New Year’s alone.  It seems to be one of those pivotal holidays that people spend together, celebrating the year past and the year to come.  I can’t remember all the New Year’s through residency, although I feel fairly certain that Michael must have worked at least one.  This year was a little different, with Erin and her family leaving bright and early Saturday morning, we ended up spending the day together, having an early dinner and saying goodbye.  My girls cried all the way home, missing their cousins and sad that Daddy wouldn’t be home to greet them.  He was already at work.

And somehow, I was relieved to be home, by myself, with my girls.  There was a sense of contentment, if not really happiness, to snuggle in with them and make the night special for them.  And I think we did it. We spent hours playing with their Lego houses, eating popcorn and watching movies.  And at 9:00 I shepherded them off to bed with promises that we’d watch the ball drop in the morning.  I puttered and organized and edited pictures, listening to Christmas carols and contemplated all the blessings of the past year.  Alone, I watched the ball drop and I then I kissed my girls goodnight.

On the first, the girls bounced out of bed and together we watched the ball drop.  Over and over again.  Seriously, at least five times.  And then we met good friends for a celebratory brunch and the girls went to spend some fun time with Bamma.  And when they came home, Madeline had made a pop up card with the “Ball” on the front and her card detailed our adventures watching the ball drop. Over and over again.  But it made my heart sing that we’d done something really special together, just being us.

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